Are You Listening or Just pretending?
“Listening comes with patience, by choosing to shut your mouth and the chatter of your brain”– Richa Chaturvedi
Many people say that they are listening, but they simply do not understand the fine difference between Listening and Hearing! That’s why call Listening a fine art which you need to master with persistent effort and patience. In today’s time, the No.1 Relationship breaker is the INEFFICIENT LISTENING SKILLS, because if you are speaking continually through your mouth or in your brain, you aren’t paying attention to what your partner (Here partner can be anyone, Lifepartner, a family member or friend. Partner is the person in conversation with you) is saying. Listening is important to establish and strengthen the bond between two people. We all humans have a tendency to bombard the person in conversation with you with your opinions, prejudices and notions. Irony the other is also busy doing the same. So where are we conversing? We are just having one way communication! Basically We all are just hearing or Listening but passively!
Active Listening has the following elements –
- Paying Attention to what the other person is saying.
- Withholding your Judgements and Biases. This mind chatter can be a big barrier to your communication.
- Reflecting upon what is being said and understanding the response to the same.
- Clarifying the message which is being perceived to take the understanding to the core.
- Summarizing the message shared by the person to reinforce what you perceived is right or wrong.
- Sharing your part.
I hope You can relate this with the game we used to play during our childhood – “Chinese Whispers”. That Was the game to fine tune your Listening skills.
Now the question here is, How do we Enhance our Active Listening Skills?
STOP❌ DOING THIS-
- STOP❌ identifying the moments in conversation wherein you can pounce on other people and grill them!
- STOP ❌identifying the moments in conversation wherein you get a chance to open your mouth!
- STOP❌ being OPINIONATED! It doesn’t take much of an effort to form opinions. Rather it takes effort to listen to what others meant to say!
- STOP ❌Mind Wandering and being distracted. Pay attention to the person and their words!
- STOP ❌ expecting that the person in front will listen to you actively, even if you didn’t articulate the same!
- STOP❌ hearing the question, rather focus on why this question?
👉🏻If You want your relationships to blossom, invest in your listening skills.
👉🏻If you want your relationships to stand against all odds, invest in your listening skills.
👉🏻If you want to be effective at work, invest in your listening skills.
- How engaged are you in your listening?
- Which relationship will get strengthened, if you apply Active Listening skills?